The Emperor's New Brain
Many years ago, there was an Emperor who at a certain level was responsible for the security of the world. He cared nothing for this, though, as his priority was the acquisition of power and prestige for himself and those who secretly controlled the affairs of state.
He did not trouble himself in the least about his responsibilities, preferring to let them be handled by his aides. And, internally, there were those that thought he simply could no longer trouble himself as he was simply untroubled by thoughts.
Swindlers remaining from the previous monarchy took advantage of the Emperor, assuring him and indeed the country that he was fine, and competent, and could conduct affairs of state, and that they were happy to assist him.
And so they did. And all the people surrounding the Emperor realized that it was in their best interests to do the same. The Director Of Public Edification (DOPE) who worked for the previous monarch, covered quite well for the Emperor before using her position to negotiate a lucrative deal with Municipal Source News Business Collaborators (a closet arm of the state controlled Ministry of Truth) and was replaced by someone else from the previous monarchy.
This DOPE, when asked directly regarding the Emperor’s mental acuity, laughed it off and listed a series of activities done by other factions of government and pretended that the Emperor had handled all these pieces of legislation when in fact all that he did was sign when and where he was told to sign by agents of the previous regime. She even declaimed, “Our Emperor accomplishes more in one hour than most people do all day.” And of course this was true, if by accomplish you mean acquire money from corrupt trading partners and frenemies.
So used to covering for the Emperor, the DOPE assumed all other minds were similarly incapacitated and considered her job well done. And the various covert Ministry of Truth outlets complied and supported these pronouncements with the claims of well-paid brain experts saying things such as “Forgetting the names of acquaintances or having difficulty remembering dates from the past doesn’t affect decision-making or judgment.” And many smiled and nodded feeling safe and secure in their ignorance or trusting in their complicit cooperation.
Similarly, when a special prosecutor came out with concerns about the Emperor’s mind, the report was dismissed as not being the business of a prosecutor as the prosecutor is not a doctor. This proven tactic had been adopted when it proved efficacious during confirmation hearings of a judicial candidate. When asked to provide a definition of the deep mystery, “What is a woman.” the judge replied, “I’m not a biologist.” This answer was supported by Uniquely Sourced Avowals Today, another arm of the Ministry of Truth saying “that a competent biologist would not be able to offer a definitive answer either.”
And the people smiled and nodded and felt smart because they also could not answer the question.
One day the Emperor was reading his teleprompter and read an instruction that was not intended to be read out loud.
“Why, he hasn’t got anything upstairs!” said a little child. “Lor! Just hark at the innocent,” said its father. And then he slapped it into silence.
And all the Pakleds stood there believing what they needed to believe.