I'm Shocked, Shocked I say

How dare other media be involved in shaping public discourse.

CARROLLTON, TX (GLOB) - During a morning of copious adsorption (not a typo) of news from around the world, I came across an article regarding The Guardian leaving X for Bluesky. The following excerpt impinged on my chucklebone.

The Guardian intoned with the gravity of an Old Testament prophet as it declared in an editorial that the organization would no longer post on X. “The U.S. presidential election campaign served only to underline what we have considered for a long time: that X is a toxic media platform and that its owner, Elon Musk, has been able to use its influence to shape political discourse.”

LOL

Yes, here are your winnings Faux Pearl Clutching The Guardian