Friday Fishwrap - Saturday Edition
Today is Saturday, 5/24/25. There are 215 shopping days remaining until Christmas. However, if you rest on Sunday instead of engage in frenzied shopping activities, there are 185 days remaining.
Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, Saturday edition of your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.
🗺️ This Week in Ancient History
Events worth remembering, even if not currently trending.
🌍 Africa: Battle of Maungwe (1684)
In 1684, the Changamire Empire of southern Africa defeated a Portuguese army at the Battle of Maungwe. This victory initiated a prolonged military campaign between the Changamire and Portugal, lasting until 1917.
🌏 Asia: Battle of Granicus (May 334 BC)
In May 334 BC, Alexander the Great achieved his first major victory against the Persian Empire at the Battle of Granicus in Asia Minor. This triumph marked the beginning of his campaign to conquer Asia.
🌎 Europe: Solar Eclipse Halts Battle (May 28, 585 BC)
On May 28, 585 BC, a predicted solar eclipse occurred during a battle between the Medians and Lydians in Asia Minor. The sudden darkness led both sides to cease fighting and declare a truce.
🌍 North America: Founding of Tenochtitlan (Thought to be early June, 1325 AD)
According to Aztec tradition, the city of Tenochtitlan—future site of Mexico City—was founded in early June 1325, guided by a prophecy of an eagle devouring a snake atop a cactus. It became the capital of a vast empire and one of the most impressive cities of pre-Columbian America.
🌏 Oceania: Polynesian Settlement of Hawai'i (ca. 300–800 AD)
Between approximately 300 and 800 AD, Polynesian navigators settled the Hawaiian Islands, showcasing their advanced seafaring skills and expanding their cultural influence across the Pacific. Some of that probably happened this week…
🌎 South America: Nazca Lines Created (ca. 500 BC–500 AD)
Spanning nearly a millennium (so some of it probably happened during this week, more than once even), Peru’s Nazca Lines began with geometric forms by the Paracas culture; the famous animal figures—like the monkey and hummingbird—emerged around 100 AD under the Nazca. Likely ritualistic or astronomical, they remain one of archaeology’s enduring mysteries.
⚙️ Technological Marvel: Water Clock (Clepsydra) – ca. 1600 BC
Developed in ancient Babylon and Egypt, the water clock (or clepsydra) was one of humanity’s earliest tools for measuring time independently of the sun. Used in courts, temples, and astronomy, it paved the way for more precise timekeeping and ultimately for mechanical clocks millennia later. Water dripped from a container through a hole into a lower container that had time markings on the side. Instead of winding this all up, you just poured the water out of the bottom bucket and refilled the top.
Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility reaches its rhetorical low point in the chapter on "White Women's Tears." I stopped reading here the first time. I’ve read it now, and I’ve got questions. Are all tears suspect? Do intentions no longer matter? And when did empathy become oppression?
The strange case of Sneewitchen
I’ve read a lot of opinions on why the current effort by Disney to remake and re-profit their catalog has failed. There are the usual suspects. “Go woke, go broke”, and “Rachel Zegler, I just can’t”. But, there is a deeper reason why this movie disappoints.
The Actual Reason "Snow White" Failed
Are you familiar with “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”?
My Stogie Mystagogy Podcast
Your Hosts are joined by Sir Patrick Norton of the Carrollton Nortons for a discussion of AI. Patrick lends a different air to the podcast. He smokes a pipe.
Still Coming Soon -
Further to Poetry Night
Kindly Bob Invites One and All to The Screaming Monkey’s Head Poetry Night, hosted by Virj.
Wherein the count of the poems shall be three. A sonnet in blank verse. A medieval Latin styled drinking song. A runic ballad. Hosted by Virj who will be our guide to these poems.
If you made it this far, you are indeed made of stern stuff. Thank you. And if anything pleased you, made you think, made any sort of impression at all, please share, please like and please, please, comment. If you didn’t like something, or disagree, please comment and issue a formal challenge!
We shall meet on the field of ideas and battle in search of truth like civilized folk.
And if your purse allows, smash that button and send $5 toward an Arturo Fuente 858. I will laud your largesse in a future article about the importance of being a patron of the arts in these artless times.
