Friday Fish Wrap
March 22, 2024
Welcome to Friday Fish Wrap your source for unhealthy yet tasty tidbits.
Skunk with severe peanut butter jar allergy saved
March 21 (UPI) -- Wildlife authorities in Ontario came to the rescue of a hungry skunk found with its head stuck in a jar.
While it is fairly certain that a crime was committed, i.e., theft of a jar of peanut butter, the skunk was released at the scene in yet another example of our nation’s “soft on crime” zeitgeist disguised as concern for the unfortunate.
“I’m purty sure that varmint was a gettin’ whut he deserved afore them librals just up and let him go,” said Joey Jack Johnson, American.
Tragedy At London Soccer Match
LONDON (AP) — A top-of-the table English Women’s Soccer League game with a crowd of nearly 33,000 suffered a delayed kickoff on Friday because the teams had matching socks.
From the article: “People make mistakes but the game does not need this and it’s frustrating. It does not look good for the game.”
WASHINGTON (AP) — When a total solar eclipse transforms day into night, will tortoises start acting romantic? Will giraffes gallop? Will apes sing odd notes?
Brought to you by The Perot Museum of Nature and Science
DALLAS (GLOB) - In conjunction with Carnegie Science, The Perot Museum is bringing “The Totality Baritones” to sing for the 10 minutes or so of totality this April. Tickets are being sold exclusively by TicketBastards™. “We will sue, if you look at the sky without a ticket,” said a spokes-mannequin for TicketBastards™.
And Finally Florida Man 3/22
Florida man arrested after slapping woman with slice of pizza
MARION COUNTY, Fla. – A 39-year-old man faces domestic violence charges after deputies said he struck a woman in the face with a slice of pizza.
3/22 appears to have been a slow day for Florida Man, a least in terms of funny odd as opposed to disturbing and gruesome.
See you next week.