Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, Saturday edition. This is your weekly(ish) email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

🗺️ This Week in Ancient History

Let’s do some Birthdays!

June 14

• 1158 – Founding of Munich (Europe)
  Henry the Lion establishes the city on the Isar River, marking a medieval milestone that would later influence regional power. en.wikipedia.org

• 1276 – Song Dynasty Crowned (Asia)
  With Mongol pressure mounting, the exiled Song court in Fuzhou proclaims Emperor Duanzong—a last-ditch act before eventual Yuan conquest. en.wikipedia.org

June 15

• 1330 – Birth of Edward the Black Prince (Europe)
  Heir to England’s Edward III, destined to become a famed military leader during the Hundred Years’ War. pinterest.fr+14historyextra.com+14kidskonnect.com+14

June 18

• 1511 – Architect Bartolomeo Ammannati Born (Europe)
  Renowned for his Renaissance bridges and sculptures in Florence. historyextra.com

June 19

• 1623 – Birth of Blaise Pascal (Europe)
  While slightly post-ancient era, Pascal’s later contributions to math and philosophy anchor centuries of scientific thought. en.wikipedia.org+5historyextra.com+5kidskonnect.com+5

June 20

• 1763 – Theobald Wolfe Tone Born (Europe/Americas)
  Still future-shocked: his life becomes pivotal in transatlantic revolutions, though his birth falls outside classical antiquity. historyextra.com+1en.wikipedia.org+1

The Answer to All Your Problems! And the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon

We have posted 2 My Stogie Mystagogy podcasts. The format of these podcasts are “What’cha smokin’? What’cha drinkin’, What’cha readin’?” and then the topic of the evening.

hand:

And lastly, an explanation of the Supreme Court actions on TPS and CHNV and some thoughts and recommendations:

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

I have trained Chad (My name for ChatGPT) to understand that when I ask for an AT analysis of something, I am asking it to review based on the following concepts:
The Four Causes (Formal, Material, Efficient, and Final) and with an eye toward Act and Potency, Cause and Effect, and Teleology (which is concerned with Final Cause.

After much back and forth and many many arguments, it does a pretty fair job, and a very quick one, of analyzing fairly complex propositions. I am offering this insight as a way to subtly argue that we should all take an AT approach to analyzing what we see and hear. Perhaps the below will encourage you to take a gander at the Aristotelian/Thomistic world view.

I herewith provide my prompt and the response from Chad:

I'd actually like to hear your thoughts, from an AT analysis, as to what could possibly be the goal of deliberately destabilizing the immigration process. Or is this just stupid political gamesmanship with no eye toward teleology and ignoring cause and effect, act and potency?

Now we’re getting to the deep water — exactly the kind of inquiry that should be in The Glob.

Here’s my straight analysis, through an Aristotelian-Thomistic (AT) lens — not cynical, not ideological, but aimed at uncovering real causal structure:

1️⃣ Was there a deliberate goal?

If we analyze this according to final cause — what the CHNV designers aimed to bring about — several possibilities emerge. They are not mutually exclusive.

a) Political expediency (proximate final cause)

The Biden administration faced:

• Rising illegal crossings.

• Humanitarian chaos at the southern border.

• Political pressure from both pro-immigration and pro-enforcement factions.

CHNV functioned as a pressure-release valve:

• It gave an official channel to admit large numbers of migrants legally.

• It offloaded pressure on asylum processing at the border.

• It allowed the administration to claim it was reducing "irregular migration."

👉 But this is a short-term instrumental final cause — a patch, not a coherent policy grounded in first principles of justice or the common good.

b) Political signaling / coalition maintenance (final cause at the level of political form)

For parts of the political left, expansive migration itself is treated as a positive good, sometimes ideologically so:

• Cosmopolitanism replaces political prudence.

• Nation-state boundaries are morally suspect.

• Immigration restriction is framed as inherently unjust.

In this frame, anything that broadens lawful pathways or normalizes mass admissions is desirable — regardless of system integrity or sustainability.

CHNV, though not fully sold this way publicly, was implicitly aligned with this ideological telos:

• To normalize high levels of admissions via any available legal means.

• To undermine resistance to expansive migration through gradual fait accompli.

c) Teleological blindness / rejection of natural order (deep AT concern)

At the deepest level — this is where your instinct is most correct — CHNV reflects a rejection of teleology in migration policy:

• Immigration systems should be ordered toward the common good of the receiving polity, which includes justice for citizens and migrants alike.

• They should respect causal order: limited resources → limited capacity → orderly admissions → integration → stable polity.

• CHNV bypassed all of this:

  • No serious integration plan.

  • No proportionality relative to the receiving society’s capacities.

  • No balancing of goods.

  • No foresight of act and potency: no sense of what unstructured mass parole would potentiate (legal chaos, exploitation, human suffering).

This is classic modern voluntarism masquerading as compassion:
"Because we will it, and because we call it humanitarian, it is good."

But that is a collapse of teleological thinking.

2️⃣ Is this just stupidity? Or deliberate?

It is likely a blend:

• Some architects of CHNV pursued it knowingly as a way to broaden admissions (ideological intent).

• Some political actors simply sought a way to relieve short-term political and humanitarian pressure (political expediency).

• The underlying teleological incoherence — rejection of act/potency and cause/effect thinking — is not conscious in most actors, but is structurally built into modern policy culture.

In other words:

• They weren’t thinking about form and final cause.

• They were trapped in a cycle of instrumental causes only: "We need to stop headlines about border chaos → Let’s create a parole pipeline → It works → Who cares about long-term effects?"

Act and potency were ignored:

• The act (creating CHNV) inherently potentiated destabilization of the immigration system.

• The system’s integrity as a form was dissolved, in favor of an instrumental outcome.

I’m not saying anyone will be swayed by the above. But I do think engaging with the above concepts would be instructive and maybe prevent stupidity from gaining a death grip on its current ascendancy as the dominant principle of operation here in the United States.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

🗺️ This Week in Ancient History

Events worth remembering, even if not currently trending.

🌍 Africa: Reign of Akhenaten Begins (c. June 1, 1353 BC)

Around June 1, 1353 BC, Pharaoh Amenhotep IV assumed the Egyptian throne and soon changed his name to Akhenaten, launching a radical monotheistic revolution focused on the sun disk Aten. His reign disrupted traditional polytheism and centralized religious power; a theological experiment centuries ahead of its time.

🌏 Asia: Death of Confucius (c. 479 BC)

Confucius, the great Chinese philosopher and teacher, is believed to have died around this time in 479 BC. His ethical teachings on filial piety, virtue, and societal harmony would shape East Asian thought for over two millennia, profoundly influencing China, Korea, Japan, and Vietnam.

🌎 South America: Chavín de Huántar Flourishes (c. 500 BC)

By this period, the ceremonial center of Chavín de Huántar in modern-day Peru was thriving as a religious and cultural hub. The Chavín civilization’s art, architecture, and religious iconography would echo through later Andean cultures, including the Inca.

🌏 Oceania: Early Lapita Pottery Peaks (c. 1000–500 BC)

In this era, the Lapita people—ancestors of Polynesians—were mastering oceanic navigation and crafting intricately patterned pottery across Melanesia and into western Polynesia. Their cultural expansion laid the groundwork for the settlement of the Pacific.

🌍 Europe: Founding of Massalia (c. 600 BC)

Around this week in 600 BC, Greek settlers from Phocaea founded the colony of Massalia (modern-day Marseille, France). This coastal city became a major trading hub, linking Mediterranean Greece with inland Gaul, and fostering early cross-cultural exchanges.

🌎 North America: Cahokia’s Mound 72 Constructed (c. 1000 AD)

Around this period, the Mississippian culture built Mound 72 at Cahokia, near present-day St. Louis. Excavations reveal it was a site of elite burial and ritual sacrifice—evidence of a complex, hierarchical society long before European contact.

⚙️ Invention Spotlight: The Archimedes Screw (c. 3rd century BC, Hellenistic Egypt)

Developed during Archimedes’ time in Alexandria, the Archimedean screw allowed water to be raised efficiently from lower to higher elevations. It revolutionized irrigation and water management, especially in arid regions, and versions of it are still in use today in agriculture, sewage treatment, and even snow blowers. A fine example of applied geometry serving civilization.

Come again to The Screaming Monkey’s Head and listen in on another tale.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, Saturday edition of your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

🗺️ This Week in Ancient History

Events worth remembering, even if not currently trending.

🌍 Africa: Battle of Maungwe (1684)

In 1684, the Changamire Empire of southern Africa defeated a Portuguese army at the Battle of Maungwe. This victory initiated a prolonged military campaign between the Changamire and Portugal, lasting until 1917.

🌏 Asia: Battle of Granicus (May 334 BC)

In May 334 BC, Alexander the Great achieved his first major victory against the Persian Empire at the Battle of Granicus in Asia Minor. This triumph marked the beginning of his campaign to conquer Asia.

🌎 Europe: Solar Eclipse Halts Battle (May 28, 585 BC)

On May 28, 585 BC, a predicted solar eclipse occurred during a battle between the Medians and Lydians in Asia Minor. The sudden darkness led both sides to cease fighting and declare a truce.

🌍 North America: Founding of Tenochtitlan (Thought to be early June, 1325 AD)
According to Aztec tradition, the city of Tenochtitlan—future site of Mexico City—was founded in early June 1325, guided by a prophecy of an eagle devouring a snake atop a cactus. It became the capital of a vast empire and one of the most impressive cities of pre-Columbian America.

🌏 Oceania: Polynesian Settlement of Hawai'i (ca. 300–800 AD)

Between approximately 300 and 800 AD, Polynesian navigators settled the Hawaiian Islands, showcasing their advanced seafaring skills and expanding their cultural influence across the Pacific. Some of that probably happened this week…

🌎 South America: Nazca Lines Created (ca. 500 BC–500 AD)
Spanning nearly a millennium (so some of it probably happened during this week, more than once even), Peru’s Nazca Lines began with geometric forms by the Paracas culture; the famous animal figures—like the monkey and hummingbird—emerged around 100 AD under the Nazca. Likely ritualistic or astronomical, they remain one of archaeology’s enduring mysteries.

⚙️ Technological Marvel: Water Clock (Clepsydra) – ca. 1600 BC
Developed in ancient Babylon and Egypt, the water clock (or clepsydra) was one of humanity’s earliest tools for measuring time independently of the sun. Used in courts, temples, and astronomy, it paved the way for more precise timekeeping and ultimately for mechanical clocks millennia later. Water dripped from a container through a hole into a lower container that had time markings on the side. Instead of winding this all up, you just poured the water out of the bottom bucket and refilled the top.

Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility reaches its rhetorical low point in the chapter on "White Women's Tears." I stopped reading here the first time. I’ve read it now, and I’ve got questions. Are all tears suspect? Do intentions no longer matter? And when did empathy become oppression?

The strange case of Sneewitchen

I’ve read a lot of opinions on why the current effort by Disney to remake and re-profit their catalog has failed. There are the usual suspects. “Go woke, go broke”, and “Rachel Zegler, I just can’t”. But, there is a deeper reason why this movie disappoints.

My Stogie Mystagogy Podcast

Your Hosts are joined by Sir Patrick Norton of the Carrollton Nortons for a discussion of AI. Patrick lends a different air to the podcast. He smokes a pipe.

Still Coming Soon -

Wherein the count of the poems shall be three. A sonnet in blank verse. A medieval Latin styled drinking song. A runic ballad. Hosted by Virj who will be our guide to these poems.

If you made it this far, you are indeed made of stern stuff. Thank you. And if anything pleased you, made you think, made any sort of impression at all, please share, please like and please, please, comment. If you didn’t like something, or disagree, please comment and issue a formal challenge!

And if your purse allows, smash that button and send $5 toward an Arturo Fuente 858. I will laud your largesse in a future article about the importance of being a patron of the arts in these artless times.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

This Week in Ancient History
Events worth remembering, even if not currently trending.

🌍 Africa: The Battle of Kadesh (May 12, 1274 BC)

On May 12, 1274 BC, Pharaoh Ramesses II faced the Hittite Empire in the Battle of Kadesh, near the modern-day Syrian border. This chariot-heavy clash is one of the earliest battles in recorded history with detailed accounts. Despite initial setbacks, Ramesses II led a counterattack that prevented a complete Egyptian defeat. The battle concluded with a stalemate, leading to one of the first known peace treaties in history.

🌏 Asia: The Fall of the Tang Dynasty (May 12, 907 AD)

On May 12, 907 AD, Zhu Wen forced Emperor Ai to abdicate, effectively ending the Tang Dynasty's nearly 300-year reign over China. This marked the beginning of the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period, a time of fragmentation and upheaval in Chinese history.

🌎 Europe: Fall of Acre (May 18, 1291)

On May 18, 1291, the city of Acre, the last major Crusader stronghold in the Holy Land, fell to the Mamluks. This event effectively ended Crusader ambitions in the region and marked a turning point in medieval European and Middle Eastern history.

🌍 North America: Founding of Jamestown (May 14, 1607)

On May 14, 1607, English settlers established Jamestown in Virginia, marking the first permanent English settlement in North America. This event laid the foundation for the future United States.

🌏 Oceania: Indigenous Australian Rock Art

Though specific dates are elusive, Australia's ancient rock art, some dating back over 40,000 years, provides a window into the continent's rich indigenous history. These artworks, found across various sites, depict aspects of daily life, spiritual beliefs, and the natural world.

🌍 South America: The Moche Civilization's Flourishing

Between 100 and 700 AD, the Moche civilization thrived on Peru's northern coast. Known for their sophisticated irrigation systems and intricate ceramics, the Moche left behind monumental adobe pyramids and detailed murals that offer insights into their complex society.

⚙️ Technological Marvel: The Antikythera Mechanism

Discovered in a shipwreck off the Greek island of Antikythera, this ancient device dates back to around 100 BC. Often dubbed the world's first analog computer, the Antikythera Mechanism was used to predict astronomical positions and eclipses decades in advance.

This Week in The Glob

Robin DiAngelo's White Fragility reaches its rhetorical low point in the chapter on "White Women's Tears." I stopped reading here the first time. I’ve read it now, and I’ve got questions. Are all tears suspect? Do intentions no longer matter? And when did empathy become oppression?

Coming in the Evening Editions of the Friday Fishwrap

Pope Leo XIV. Who is he, and what about his namesake, Pope Leo XIII? Does the name selection hint at a papal direction? Let’s talk about it.

Poetry Night at The Screaming Monkey’s Head. Paddy Keyk attends poetry night at The Screaming Monkey’s Head and reads her competed sonnet.

Well, maybe on the reading of the poetry - technical difficulties and all…

If you made it this far, you are indeed made of stern stuff. Thank you. And if anything pleased you, made you think, made any sort of impression at all, please share, please like and please, please, comment. If you didn’t like something, or disagree, please comment and issue a formal challenge! We shall meet on the field of ideas.
And if your purse allows, smash that button and send $5 toward an Arturo Fuente 858. I will laud your largesse in a future article about the importance of being a patron of the arts in these artless times.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

This Week in Ancient History
Events worth remembering, even if not currently trending.

Africa
Nubia, 950 BC — Kushite metalworkers unveil a new smelting technique in Meroë, increasing iron output and giving rise to fears of a regional power shift along the Nile.

Asia
Zhou China, 842 BC — King Li flees the capital after widespread revolt; aristocrats begin the "Republican Administration" period, ruling without a monarch for the next 14 years.

Europe
Rome, 267 BC — Senatorial debates intensify over expanding military presence in Magna Graecia. Younger voices call for a bold campaign, while elders warn against “another Pyrrhus.”

North America
Olmec lands, c. 900 BC — Artisans in La Venta complete a massive basalt head bearing the features of a warrior-king. Locals gather in awe; rumors spread of a living god in stone.

South America
Chavín, Andes Highlands, c. 850 BC — Priests of the Chavín cult unveil a temple chamber where eerie echoes and hallucinogenic rituals guide oracles. Llamas reportedly terrified.

Australia
Arnhem Land, c. 1000 BC — Rock paintings depicting ancestral spirits known as Mimi are refreshed by tribal elders. One elder claims, “They painted us first. We only touch up.”

Ancient Breakthrough of the Week
🛠️ The Potter’s Wheel Spreads West — Originating in Mesopotamia, the potter’s wheel is now in use across the Levant, allowing artisans to produce vessels with uncanny symmetry. A Phoenician trader calls it “spinning gold from clay.”

This Week in The Glob

We have a pope, ending the period of sede vacante, meaning the period of the seat being vacant. Pope Leo XIV is an interesting choice and I will take some time to give serious consideration to what the Holy Spirit may be thinking. Look for that article in the next edition or so.

In previous iterations of The Glob, there have been pages devoted to All Things Puppycat, being a compendium of observations and activities of The Puppycate, AKA Frater Bovious’s Spousal Unit. She’s been pretty busy being a professional so, not much has happened, but we did witness this interaction with the “Health and Human Services”.

Beauregard Smith does a dining review of sorts:

In the Theological Armory you will find the latest My Stogie Mystagogy podcast, from Joe Catholic productions. Believing Thomas…

And finally, Paddy Keyk explores poetry and begins a sonnet. What is poetry, what is a sonnet? Why doesn’t anyone care anymore? Some answers follow:

Next Week:

White Women’s Tears. Possible the least useful and most damaging chapter of White Fragility. This chapter… it’s egregious.

Pope Leo XIV. Who is he, and what about his namesake, Pope Leo XIII? Does the name selection hint at a papal direction? Let’s talk about it.

Poetry Night at The Screaming Monkey’s Head. Paddy Keyk attends poetry night at The Screaming Monkey’s Head and reads her competed sonnet.

And whatever else comes to mind and ends on paper.

Until we read again…

If you made it this far, you are indeed made of stern stuff. Thank you. And if anything pleased you, made you think, made any sort of impression at all, please share, please like and please, please, comment. If you didn’t like something, or disagree, please comment and issue a formal challenge! We shall meet on the field of ideas.
And if your purse allows, smash that button and send $5 toward an Arturo Fuente 858. I will laud your largesse in a future article about the importance of being a patron of the arts in these artless times.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

This Week in Ancient History
Events worth remembering, even if they didn’t trend.

AFRICA
Around this week in 1470 BC, Hatshepsut’s fleet returned from Punt—bringing incense, ivory, and baboons. One of the earliest recorded trade missions by sea.

ASIA
May 5, 221 BC: Qin Shi Huang completed the unification of China, ending the Warring States period and establishing the first imperial dynasty.

AMERICAS
Roughly 250 BC: The Maya at El Mirador began work on the La Danta pyramid. Still one of the largest known structures in the ancient world by volume.

EUROPE
May 2, 73 AD: Masada fell to Roman forces after a long siege. The defenders’ mass suicide ended the First Jewish–Roman War.

OCEANIA
Around this week, 1000 BC: Lapita seafarers settled the Vanuatu islands, expanding one of the most sophisticated prehistoric navigation networks on Earth.

INVENTION
700 BC: Independent iron-smelting techniques appear in sub-Saharan Africa. Not borrowed, not copied—developed in place.

This Week in The Glob

So, I wrote an article about the Pope’s passing and how he has been viewed and may be viewed. If you missed it you can read it at Popes and Such. It proved to be “polarizing” to a group I posted to; I used quotes because I used it in this sentence as they took it: i.e., as a negative valued judgment. However, I missed an opportunity to clarify and work toward consensus in our back and forth. After reading an article about William F. Buckley, I had some thoughts and wrote this Mea Culpa:

Some more White Fragility. In this installment I move through 3 chapters fairly quickly as the subject matter is repetitive. DiAngelo introduces a concept she calls white fragility—then frames any pushback as evidence of it. One participant becomes a cautionary tale. One list becomes a behavioral indictment.

If you made it this far, you’ve endured history, heresy, and Hatshepsut. The least you can do is buy me a cigar by smashing the button below. I’ll buy something Nicaraguan, medium-bodied, and morally complex (like this newsletter). Until next time, may your cigars burn clean, your quarks remain ethically entangled, and your feedback violate none of the eleven sacred rules.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Pope Francis has passed. His funeral is tomorrow. Many will be watching, many will be commenting. Many will want to know, “What is Frater Bovious thinking?”

Pope Francis has been a fairly polarizing Papa. To some, he was the great reformer, the long-overdue breath of fresh air. To others he was a source of confusion and possibly scandal. Still others see him as heretical. Interestingly, he seems very appreciated by many non-Catholics and even some atheists. The reasons for this bears some scrutiny.

I have an analogy about analogies. Analogies are like training wheels on a bicycle. They serve to give a kid an idea of what riding a bike looks and feels like. How might I apply this to some geopolitical concerns of the day?

My continuing review of White Fragility - this time getting into the meat of CT and CRT

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Tridu-what?

The Triduum is a single contiguous event that began last night, on Holy Thursday. Many people think of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday as three separate holy days. But in the Church’s deepest understanding, they are one continuous liturgical event spread across three days.

That’s what the word Triduum means, “three days” but it’s not three events. It’s one single mystery unfolding in time.

Think of it like a play in three acts:

• Act I: Holy Thursday (Evening) – This is where it begins. Jesus celebrates the Last Supper, gives us the Eucharist, and then goes out to pray in Gethsemane.

• Act II: Good Friday – Jesus is betrayed, tried, tortured, and crucified. The sacrifice is made. There is no Mass on this day.

• Act III: Holy Saturday into Easter Sunday – The silence of the tomb is broken by the Resurrection. At the Easter Vigil, the Church rejoices because death has been destroyed.

Many new to this event comment that it feels so solemn and strange. They ask: “Why does it feel so heavy, so strange, so unlike anything else?”

That’s the point. We’re not remembering something that happened long ago. We’re entering into it.

Have a good week and a Happy Easter.

Tales From The Screaming Monkey’s Head

The Train
A strange tavern, a quiet drink, and a barkeep named Kindly Bob. A man walks in from the cold and hears a tale about a train, a senator, and a bomb that should have gone off—but didn’t. The story twists, then lingers. Something isn’t quite right.

Continuing the review of White Fragility

Chapter 6
This one’s tough to review. The logic is circular, the assumptions are sweeping, and somehow white fragility explains both the crime and the denial of it. I tried to stick to summary, but this chapter made that impossible.

🔥 Smoky the Barely Tolerant

Government by Those Who Know the Game
The branches of government were designed to frustrate power, not enable it. But people chafe against frustration, and think short term, and want things NOW. Those that play the game know how to subvert the system. Smoky stands off to the side, shovel and fire bucket ready, watching the smoke drift from a system slowly forgetting how it’s supposed to work.

If you are enjoying The Glob and want to support me in some way, you can buy me part of a cigar!

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

The Glob Staff is on an adventure. We are currently in some casino in Oklahoma. In case you missed it, we did a “Live” from one of our stops. You can see it below:

A Cigar Pairing. The first of many - well, no, probably not…

We have been traveling with very spotty internet, so I have not done much writing this week.

I have been redecorating The Glob. I decided that my desire to make it look like a newspaper was an artificial constraint, and not really appropriate for what is basically an opinion magazine, not a newspaper. So I removed all the local, national, global news tags, and created some new sections. I am busy retagging all the articles so they show in the right place. The new sections are all in the menu bar at the top of the page.

While I was at it, I ran across this article i wrote ragging on the Google Search tool, retagged it as Opinion and Cultural Takes, and decided to call everyone’s attention to it again.

t has moved past “walled garden” to Evil Overlord Wannabe. I think the last laugh is on Google though, as I never use it for any searches at all anymore. I’ve moved to Duck Duck Go and Chat-GPT, and, as soon as I find a suitable mail client, I will dump Gmail as well. It has truly turned into a steaming pile of manure.

I also feel this article is worth a review since it was written when I had half the number of subscribers as I did when it first published. I made some slight edits, and present to you the dangers of Occam’s Razor in the hands of the Childish.

So, that’s all I have for this week. Next week:

• some Globservations from our Adventure

• The second half of my article on Theophany

• The continuation of my review of White Fragility

• Some more Smoky The Barely Tolerant.

Have a good week and a blessed Lent.

If you are enjoying The Glob and want to support me in some way, you can buy me part of a cigar!

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

An Excerpt From “The Digestible”. Peer inside THOOTR’s Members Only Newsletter

Being a follow up to an issue with the AdS drive, and whether or not … well, nothing more may be said.

Why Trump’s Bid For A Third Term Is A Mistake

Stupid is a stupid does

Smoky The Barely Tolerant

Why anyone mad at Trump should be mad at the Democratic Party Machine

Link

If you are enjoying The Glob and want to support me in some way, you can buy me part of a cigar!

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday FishWrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Chapter 5 of White Fragility

I had been doing 2 chapters each post, but this one just took too much ‘splaining.

Theophany

Theophany means God appearing to man in a perceptible way. Think Burning Bush. You may be thinking, “Yeah, back in Biblical days, but now?” Fair response. In this article I propose that God breaks into our world all the time, just not as clearly as a burning bush.

Putting the Kibosh on the Kybalion

An associate with minimal awareness of The Hermetic Order Of The Ruminantia attempted to suggest that the Kybalion is related. Of course this is simply ridiculous.

New Feature

From the old bulletin board flame wars to the wildfires of cancel culture, ideological bonfires are a problem, as can be seen in California. Smoky the Barely Tolerant is here to address the smoke before the flame.

If you like what you are reading, and just want to throw me a bone, or a cigar, you can help buy me a cigar by clicking below.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

The tone here is not fixed. Some pieces are playful. Others press into discomfort. A few do both. I will not always tie everything up. Loose ends serve a purpose. They invite reflection, not closure. Some thoughts are meant to be carried a while.

What I Believe About Writing

1. While the reader may, in fact, be a customer, treating them like one is a mistake.
If you’ve read something here and bothered to return, I assume you are the sort of reader who can engage complex subjects without needing them reduced to slogans or smoothed into certainty. My goal is not merely to entertain; it is to engage. I do not want to put out “content.” I want to have a conversation: a conversation between people who care about meaning and are willing to expend the energy required to find it.

2. Punctuation reveals intent.
The em dash, once a rare stylistic gesture, has become the ketchup of modern writing. I prefer punctuation that carries meaning: the colon prepares, the semicolon connects, the parenthesis suggests. These marks do not coddle. They clarify.

3. This is not nostalgia. It is criticism.
Pull a Navy Bluejackets Manual from a century ago. Or the first Boy Scout Handbook. Read a few pages. The language is rich, the expectations are high, and the tone is serious. Those books assumed young men were capable of becoming responsible adults. They trained them accordingly. Today’s instructional writing is often condescending, emotionally padded, and syntactically flat. Reading used to be part of formation. Now it is about consumption. That shift has consequences.

4. Style should serve substance.
I use irony, wit, sarcasm, and the occasional ridiculous image. But never as a substitute for meaning. These are not decorations. They are tools—used in service of clarity, provocation, and sometimes, joy. The goal is not entertainment without consequence. The goal is to speak clearly, and sometimes sharply, about things that matter.

Who This Is For

This is for readers who do not panic at complexity. For those who understand that disagreement is not disrespect. For anyone who believes that truth is worth seeking, even when it is elusive, even when it is costly. I also write for myself, to test what I believe and to sharpen what I think. If you are still reading, welcome. We may not always agree. That is, in fact, the point.

Welcome to Friday FishWrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

From The Theological Armory

A man named Stephen Kent asked a question in that part of the Substack App where random stuff just shows up (you know the section in the menu bar that looks like Home Plate on a baseball diamond), and it forced art out of me. Well, an attempt anyway.

Beauregard Wants to Know

What’s up with chia seeds?

Elon Flees Substack

Earlier, I had reported that Kekius Maximus Musk had followed me. It appears the klieg lights of Substack notoriety were too much. Or maybe he was just checking out his X née Twitter rival Notes.

If It’s Trending, Should You Care?

Paddy Keyk says, “No.”

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By KENJI NAKAMURA
Associated Press | FUKUSHIMA, Japan

FUKUSHIMA, Japan (AP) – Residents in the outskirts of Fukushima Prefecture have reported strange sightings of small, laser-emitting creatures in the forests near the abandoned reactor site—sparking concerns that leftover experimental technology from Japan’s robotics industry may have been co-opted by an unexpected group: squirrels.

Did Experimental Tech Fall Into the Wrong Paws?

Japan has long been at the forefront of robotics and miniaturized technology, including early prototypes of self-guided environmental sensors. Some of these projects, deployed after the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster, aimed to monitor radiation levels in wildlife habitats—but were eventually decommissioned as funding and research shifted elsewhere.

“We believe some of these abandoned units—particularly thermal imaging and tracking sensors—were left in remote areas of the Exclusion Zone,” said Dr. Takeshi Murai, a researcher specializing in Fukushima’s post-disaster ecosystem.

“The most likely explanation is that squirrels nested inside the equipment, gnawed through wiring, and inadvertently reactivated certain systems. Some of these old prototypes had experimental energy sources designed to last for decades, so it’s entirely possible that a few units are still functioning in some unintended capacity.”

Villagers Report Strange Nighttime Lights

For locals, the phenomenon has gone from a curiosity to a full-blown nuisance.

“I thought someone was shining a laser pointer through the trees,” said 58-year-old farmer Hiroshi Takamura. “But then I saw the shape of a squirrel, its head glowing red, and a second later, there was a small burnt spot on my wooden fence.”

Other residents describe similar sightings, often at dusk or dawn, when the creatures appear most active.

Officials Attempting to Track 'Laser Squirrels'

The Fukushima Forestry and Wildlife Agency is now working alongside technology experts and former robotics researchers to locate and disable any remaining active laser units. Thermal imaging drones have reportedly picked up at least 20 anomalous heat signatures matching the size and movement of small mammals in the affected areas.

Officials caution that while the animals do not appear dangerous, direct exposure to the laser output could pose a fire risk in dry conditions.

“The best course of action is to let us handle this,” said agency spokesperson Ryo Tanaka. “We are working on safely retrieving these animals and removing the malfunctioning technology. We strongly urge the public not to approach or attempt to capture them.”

Internet Theories, Cover-Up Allegations, and the 'Laser Ninja Squirrel' Craze

As with any unexplained phenomenon, the internet has latched onto the “Laser Squirrels of Fukushima,” spawning a flood of memes, conspiracy theories, and viral content.

Videos claiming to show squirrels perched on power lines, emitting short laser pulses into the night have surfaced on Japanese social media, though experts say many are likely edited footage or optical illusions.

Meanwhile, others are questioning whether this is truly accidental.

“It’s hard to believe that a bunch of squirrels randomly figured out how to operate industrial-grade tracking lasers,” said one anonymous commenter on a popular Japanese tech forum. “Is this really just a glitch? Or was some long-forgotten experiment buried after the disaster, and now we’re seeing its unintended consequences?”

Others are embracing the absurdity, with one Tokyo-based startup already producing T-shirts featuring a stylized “Laser Ninja Squirrel” logo, complete with a glowing red headpiece and the phrase: 'Fear the Fuzzy Assassin.’

What’s Next?

While official investigations continue, authorities are urging calm and common sense.

“We understand the public’s concern,” said Tanaka. “But these are still just squirrels. They’re not plotting against us. They’re just carrying technology that was never meant for them.”

For now, Fukushima’s forests remain under close watch, as teams work to track and disable the rogue devices.

Until then, residents are advised to remain vigilant—and if they see a squirrel with glowing red eyes and an unsettlingly precise aim, stay out of its way.

Related: Fears of a Godzilla-Squirrel Hybrid? Scientists Weigh In

As if laser-equipped squirrels terrorizing Fukushima's forests weren’t enough, a growing online conspiracy suggests an even more catastrophic possibility—cross-breeding between the affected squirrels and the legendary Kaiju, Godzilla.

Yes, you read that correctly.

The theory, circulating on fringe internet forums and gaining traction among social media’s more enthusiastic speculators, suggests that exposure to lingering radiation near the Fukushima Exclusion Zone could cause genetic anomalies, leading to a new species of super-sized, laser-equipped, rampaging rodents.

How Likely Is a Godzilla-Squirrel?

“Not at all,” says Dr. Takeshi Murai, a genetics researcher at Kyoto University.

“First of all, Godzilla is not real. Let’s get that out of the way. But even if we entertain the metaphorical aspect—large, radiation-mutated creatures—it doesn’t hold up. Mammalian genetics don’t function that way. You don’t just expose a squirrel to radiation and expect it to turn into a fire-breathing skyscraper menace.”

Murai also clarified that squirrels and giant prehistoric reptiles are not, in any way, compatible species.

“I can’t believe I have to say this, but squirrels and Godzilla cannot mate. That’s not how reproductive biology works. They are as different as a jellyfish and a Toyota.”

Then Why Are People Worried?

Fear of mutation and uncontrolled crossbreeding is a long-standing trope in Japanese culture, heavily influenced by postwar anxieties surrounding nuclear energy. In the public imagination, stories of radioactive anomalies gone wrong—from Godzilla to speculative urban myths—have often carried a cautionary undertone about scientific hubris.

The idea of a supercharged, laser-blasting squirrel the size of a building may not be biologically possible, but it taps into the same deep-seated fears that made Kaiju films so resonant in Japan.

That hasn’t stopped a handful of local residents from expressing concerns.

“If they can already shoot lasers, who’s to say they won’t grow bigger?” asked one anonymous poster on a Tokyo-based conspiracy forum. “Nature finds a way.”

For now, scientists reassure the public that the Laser Squirrels of Fukushima—while highly unusual—remain normal in size and pose no threat of Kaiju-style destruction.

But just in case, officials have not ruled out implementing squirrel containment measures if their behavior escalates.

Because, as one government source admitted off the record,
"We’ve been wrong about stranger things before."

NB: This is an entirely AI generated parody of a news report from AP WHO DID NOT PUBLISH THIS. No really. It’s not true. Seriously. If you believe this story then you believe the Earth is flat and we didn’t go to the Moon… Oh crap.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Meme Me Up Scotty!

Crypto, meme coins, affordable stocks :) - The Glob humbly offers the essential meme Coin - the $TRUMPET. We believe this captures the true essence of the meme coin phenomena, and if you don’t jump on this opportunity and ride it hard, then you, sir, are a loser.

White Fragility Book Review continues

I’m trying to be fair and balanced. Really. So, I’ve just been doing a pretty straight up review of each chapter, attempting to accurately represent what Diangelo’s message is so you don’t have to. But, it’s a bit repetitve. TLDR; If you are white, you are a racist, full stop. So why read this? Because I think we need to attempt to understand the message, and as St. Paul says, “…test everything; hold fast to what is good;"

Does that mean I think she has some points worth considering. I do. But, you have to look past her pedantry, and focus on what she does not. Well, more importantly, where she goes off the rails and harms her own argument. And this will take a while, like several more posts. However, I really think we need to understand this book and the DEI smarminess that it helped to usher in, and the consequences of a full repudiation of DEI. Because, she has some points that she loses sight of and when this is done I will do my best to defend what is good in this book.

Local News - for those lucky enough to live in the Cradle of Civilization

Pretty much a cut and paste press release from the City of Carrollton. Yeah, The Glob is on the list to receive press releases from Carrollton, City of.

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Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Kick off your Lent with this Theological Consideration.

This week Frater Bovious discusses, what do you do if you have a pig that knows that it is a pig, and knows that it knows that it is a pig?"

Paddy Keyk discusses Fox News in

Beauregard wants us to focus this Lent.

Link
jk

If you like what you are reading, and just want to throw me a bone, or a cigar, you can help buy me a cigar by clicking below.

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Click it or Ticket?

Paddy Keyk takes a look at a sad trend in seatbelt use in Texas.

Embarassing!

Beauregard has a cautionary tale about typos.

And, the next installment of my ongoing review of “White Fragility”

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Help others buy me a cigar

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Maga goes Mega

Paddy Keyk takes a look at a vibe shift in Europe in:

White Fragility or White Guilt Trip

Here is my next installment on White Fragility. One chapter in, and I can already see the game: if you agree, you're proving the author's point. If you disagree, you're proving it even more. Convenient.

Previously on The Glob, I promised to read White Fragility and report back. So far, I've read the first chapter, skimmed the intro, and stared at the shattered-glass book cover long enough to wonder if that's what DiAngelo hopes to do to her audience.

Here's the gist: racism isn’t an act—it’s a state of being, and if you’re white, you’re guilty by default. Disagree? That just proves the point. She’s built an argument that can’t lose, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.

This is my first impression. More to come—unless my white fragility shatters me first.

“Everyone here understands we need to get rid of America”

You heard me. Find out more

Next week watch for the next installment of White Fragility, and another episode of At The Sign of the Screaming Monkey’s Head.

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Help others buy me a cigar

The electronic fish wrap on which this newsletter is printed was ethically sourced from renewable quark farms. Not very many electrons were lost during the manufacture of this page, but those that were, sacrificed themselves willingly and count themselves blessed.

Welcome to Friday Fishwrap™, your weekly email filled with this week’s efforts from the staff of The Global Exclaimer.

Hot Spam-Bots were messaging me

But, I’m pretty sure they wanted Chad. And can you blame them?

But alas, Chad is also AI. Read his letter to all his hot spam-bot admirers.

Chad lets ‘em down ez.

White Fragility Revisited

Roughly five years ago I did a deep dive into Robin DiAngelo’s “White Fragility”. As part of a DEI push, many companies were requiring their employees to read this book, and, well, no one liked it. Looking back, this book may have been the herald of doom for the DEI agenda. But why? I think the problem was a combination of delivery, triteness, and an unconscious smug tone.

But while it seems that the woke pendulum has reached its zenith on the far left, I fear the anti-woke backlash. I’d prefer the ascendant Republican party eschew their “To the victor go the spoils” exuberance. In it’s place I would offer the “Conduct your victory as if at a funeral” mindset of Sun Tzu evident in “The Art of War.”

In order to avoid over-correction, I think we need to understand the philosophy that underlies “White Fragility”, where it went wrong, and how it poisoned what I think was a sincere effort to address an injustice perceived.

It was intended as a path forward out of racial injustice but ironically it may have been its own herald of doom, ultimately becoming a catalyst for the backlash against perceived woke ideologies.

This is a multi-part series and it starts now:

Civil Society?

I’m not a big fan of AOC. I think she is a smart woman who is letting her progressive leanings make her say dumb things. And I think politicians should be called out when they say things that are misleading, one-sided or false to facts.

But this comment from some 12 year old on his mommy’s phone bothers me, because whoever wrote it is probably a grown man, yet he felt it appropriate to be insulting and demeaning.

See what I’m talking about

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